I talk with a lot of people who are stagnant, frustrated, or desperate. One person might not be where they want to be in their career. Another person might be where she wants to be but recognize that it’s not what she expected. Someone else might realize that his work life is now costing him in more ways than it’s paying off. Yet another person altogether may be facing a challenge so new and different that success seems impossible and fear is growing.
No matter the specific scenario, when a person feels stuck, defeated, or in distress a common reaction is to want to escape in the quickest way possible. It makes sense that in the stress and exhaustion of those intense periods of low motivation, misalignment, uncertainty, or sheer overload we yearn for something—anything!—that will save us.
That’s typically when the “maybe I’ll just” thoughts rise up. You know the ones…it’s things like:
“Maybe I’ll just quit and work in a coffee shop.”
“Maybe I’ll just get an individual contributor role that I can do in my sleep.”
“Maybe I’ll just forget about my business and get a job.”
“Maybe I’ll just stop caring so much.”
Every thought or utterance that starts with “maybe I’ll just” contains an element of flight.
Sure, there is a sense of liberation in these thoughts; a feeling of relief. And yes, saying something like this can feel like breaking free from struggle, worry, and pain. A lot of times, thoughts like this can even feed a fantasy of disappearing and withdrawing completely.
At the same time, every single “maybe I’ll just” statement or thought also represents a giving over of your power, your capacity, and your right to deliberately (re)shape your circumstance. No matter how deep in a hole you feel you are, regardless of your level of stress, busy-ness, uncertainty, or boredom you have the opportunity and ability to do something about it. You don’t have to check out!
Believing that your only option lies in “maybe I’ll just” is a cop out. The “maybe I’ll just” approach to working and living is the equivalent of throwing in the towel, or waving the white flag. It is a disengaged and unconscious way of deciding your future.
But it doesn’t have to be that way.
Even in the toughest, most desperate situations we all have the ability to choose for ourselves. While it is often the case that in deep exhaustion, stress, desperation, or apathy we feel like there is no option but to flee, we can ALL do better than that.
Success and happiness come as a result of our deliberately deciding and creating it. It isn’t haphazard. It isn’t lucky. Rather it is decisive, intentional, clear, and in positive support of what is best for us at the time.
And no, this doesn’t rule out you quitting your job, selling everything, and moving to an island. It merely says that if you’re going to claim that option you do it with your full attention, engagement, strength, and ownership.
To your happy success!
(If you’re about to make a “maybe I’ll just” decision let’s talk NOW! Let’s spend 30 minutes on the phone to ensure that what’s on the other side of the “just” is what you truly want and is aligned with your most important priorities. Reach me at liv@livsyptak.com or 303.912.5726.)