You’re Not the Boss of Me!

All of us talk to ourselves.

You may not want to own up to it, but if we’re being honest, we would ALL admit to an almost constant conversation with an inner self (or several!).

That proverbial voice inside our heads is alternately a comfort and a nuisance. We turn to that inner adviser when we’re in the midst of an important decision yet we struggle to silence it’s opinions when we lean toward something that it argues against.

That voice is always there. Day and night. It keeps us from sleeping. It preoccupies us when we should be paying attention to the road, or listening to our kids. It locks us in a seemingly endless debate about prospective outcomes of complex business decisions or of challenging professional interpersonal exchanges, or the costs and benefits of various paths and steps in our careers.

This voice purports to be helpful. So much so that we buy into it as the “voice of reason.”

We either don’t see, or we ignore, that underneath that veneer of reason festers a bent toward a same-ness and a reluctance to rock the boat. What seems like security and stability can be nothing more than stagnation. All of which we INVITE into our process, habitually. Over and over. Situation after situation.

We call upon this inner self deliberately and typically in times when we most need to orient ourselves toward openness and an expansive outlook. Those times when we are facing a challenging situation or decision that introduces risk, anxiety, stress, worry, or even panic are when we call this inner self to the table. We have been conditioned to rely on it’s input. We don’t recognize is that as soon as this particular inner self chimes in with it’s “reason,” possibility contracts. Too often so does our most satisfying and successful potential outcome.

The voice of this inner self often expresses stark judgement, justification for limitation, and a near-sighted view of any potential opportunity. It represents a perspective to which we listen intently because it’s pushing masterfully on our fears, which it knows are motivators for us.

Though we tend to recognize that this inner self is not only unhelpful but also, at times, flat out corrosive to our potential, we struggle to contain it.

And to what result? Disappointment at how we address challenging team members? Regret over a forgone opportunity? Hopeless acceptance of burnout and exhaustion due to a series of seemingly well thought out choices?

If that’s not OK with you it’s time to tell this inner self, once and for all, “you are NOT the boss of me!”  

It’s time to step up and show this inner self some firm and honest leadership. Engage in the effort to identify the other facets of your perspective and bring to light the view points that exists in your “other inner selves,” those that want more.

Have an internal debate about risk, growth, opportunity, and fear. Include that inner part of you that craves achievement, recognition, fulfillment, and a balanced lifestyle. Let that part of you that speaks with the “voice of success” have a seat at the table. Over time that “voice of success” and that “voice of reason” just might agree about your greatest potential for career and personal satisfaction. 

It starts with you leading with the expectation that they will.

How will “TERM” Investments Support YOUR Success (The Final Surge Tip!)

Change is hard. Period.

The journey from the reality that we know, which is concrete, to some new reality that we haven’t yet experienced can just plain SUCK.

Uncertainty, fear, frustration, worry make ANY change difficult. But in the effort to create career and business success according to what we most value and desire, these challenges can seem more intense than in other realms of change.

It tends to feel like there’s more on the line when we endeavor to make professional shifts as compared to, say, changing your workout routine. Anxiety seems to be amplified when we start to weigh the risks and benefits of being more deliberate and purposeful about our career direction. We can start to worry that every word, thought, or action that’s different from what we’re used to could spell the bitter end of our advancement. Fear about loss of income can blind us completely into thinking that the burnout we experience is just par for the course.

All of that messiness notwithstanding many of us will still stand up and claim that we have to do something about our career success. We will embark on steps like those that we covered in Success Surge Tips #1, #2, and #3. And even as we are proactive and creating momentum, uncertainty, fear, frustration and worry can fester under the surface of our effort and desire to change.

Luckily, we have the ability to look at and address in a productive way the source of those nagging challenges that can threaten our achievement of the success we are capable of.

Tip #4 is all about standing up to and addressing that under-the-surface fear, frustration, and worry through investment. Specifically, what I call “TERM” investments.

The focus here is on the ways that we stall ourselves by not making the level of investment in four key areas that are the tipping point in actually achieving vs. just dreaming about the success we want.

Adding Tip #4 to close out this spring’s Success Surge, allows you to exert direct influence and to follow through on the initiative you took to create success on your terms.

As with any investment, there is an element of risk in “TERM” investments AND there is a probability of return. What’s your upside potential? And what will you do to realize it?

Happy spring! Happy success!

What’s the Key Element of Success? (Still Surging with Tip #3!)

Discipline. Desire. Details.

All of these are necessary elements in creating anything in life be that our optimal health and fitness, harmony in our relationships, wealth, or career success and fulfillment.

As critical as these elements they are inert without a catalyst.

Here’s a fundamental truth about creating success on your terms:

  • No matter how stellar your track record is for conscientious stick-to-it-ness…
  • Regardless how intensely you want a different day-to-day reality in your work and life…
  • As meticulous as your effort may be to gather detailed information about what you want…
  • REAL change will not happen without movement. That’s the key, yet often missed, element in creating success!

Movement adds energy to your discipline. A step forward initiates force upon your desire. Motion applies weight  to the details you’ve gathered.

Motion alters the existing conditions within which you are working and living. It activates the discipline, desire, and detailed focus you bring.

However small the movement and the change it creates, different conditions are the fertile ground for growth. It’s only when you begin to introduce change through forward action that greater, more meaningful and satisfying change becomes possible.

Staying still, diligently gathering more and more information, analyzing a set of options over and over, telling yourself that when the time is right you’ll do something is a hopeful yet passive, focused yet limiting, and driven yet stagnant way of expecting new results.

What would happen if your perspective was expanded?

What new opportunities could be just around the corner?

What if even difficult relationships and draining interactions started to align with your effort?

What if success and fulfillment were nearer and more accessible than you think?

Tip #3 in the Spring Success Surge could reveal the answers…

Surge on!

/

David Bowie Had it Right…The Surge Continues!

To really SURGE ahead in success things have to change.

As I shared last week, an important step in discovering the best and most appropriate actions to take in creating the success that you want is to look closely at your habits. Your habits, especially those that have become so ingrained that they are now invisible, are the hiding places of sneaky sabotages that will hold you firmly from the success you are capable of creating.

Yet, as critical as it is to look intently into those habits and to identify specific new steps, processes, ways of thinking, approaches, and even ways of talking that are better aligned with the success you want, that step will yield no momentum without ACTION.

Follow through is where the rubber meets the road and can truly carry you forward. Without action we stay stuck…but with action things change. YIKES!!

What’s comfortable and regular gets disrupted…

Where we knew what to expect we become clueless…

Where we typically act with certainty we feel trepidation…

Where we typically operate automatically and with little thought, we have to act deliberately and with full attention…

This kind of change is why Tip #2 is so important! (Just ask David Bowie!)

Surge on!